


ZaDr Week Day 1

by Hazellum



Series: Zadr Week [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Dib is oblivious, High School, M/M, ZaDr, Zim and Dib are awkward turtleducks, Zim is feral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25393714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazellum/pseuds/Hazellum
Summary: Comments are appreciated
Relationships: Dib and Gaz, ZaDr - Relationship, Zim/Dib
Series: Zadr Week [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839151
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	ZaDr Week Day 1

As Dib wiped the blood from his face, he grinned. While Zim's plans had certainly gotten more personal recently, the little green bug sure as hell still put up a fight. The fact that his alien overlords had officially banished him just seemed to make Zim more eager to fight. Dib's busted nose could certainly attest to that.

Dib didn't have long to think, though, because Zim quickly launched himself at him, teeth bared. "Oh Dib-Stink, has your pathetic body already gotten tired?!" the alien said, laughing.

"No, I was just thinking about how weak you've been today!" Dib retorted, nimbly dodging Zim's claws. When Zim attempted to kick Dib's feet from under him, Dib jumped upwards, out of the way. Dib realized his mistake when a Pak leg stabbed through the collar of his coat and pushed him downwards, pinning him to the ground.

Quickly shrugging his coat off, Dib spun around to be behind Zim, and lifted the small green alien by his Pak, rather like how a cat would lift a kitten. 

"Noooo! Dib-Human how dare you lift me by my Pak! The AUDACITY!" Zim shouted, trying, and failing, to reach around and grab Dib's arms and yank them off.

"Admit defeat for today, then!" Dib laughed. This was too easy! Now that he was so much taller than Zim, he could just lift the alien off the ground and Zim would be helpless.

"Never!" Zim shouted, before beginning to kick his own leg. After successfully dislocating his leg, Zim used it to kick backward at Dib. More in disgust than pain, Dib dropped Zim.

"What the hell, man? That's just gross!" Dib said, stepping back and watching as Zim popped his leg back into the socket.

"Hah! Is the Dib-Human jealous of the Mighty Zim's abilities?" Zim replied, before running towards Dib again. This time, his Pak leg caught Dib by his shirt in such a way he wouldn't be able to escape.

"Now, with you stuck, the Mighty Zim will explain his BRILLIANT plan!" Zim shouted, puffing his chest out proudly.

"What is it this time? Are you going to blow up the school? Shave my hair? No- no it couldn't be! Not... The Room with the Moose!?" Dib shouted, trying unsuccessfully to rip the fabric of his shirt and escape. Curse his father and his high-tech superstrong fabrics!

Wat Dib was not expecting was to be repeatedly slapped across the face with a bouquet of roses. "Wh-What the hell? I'm allergic to cats, not flowers, you moron!"

"Wh- My plan is not working! No! This can't beeeee! The primitive Hyuman Interwebs said this would work! YOu should be throwing yourself at Zim's feet!"

Wait, what? These were just flowers- wait.

"Are you mocking me, Zim?! How dare you!" Dib shouted, thinking about the past few weeks. Sure, he'd wanted to punch Keef's face in when the red-head talked to Zim, but that was normal! Keef could be an annoying git sometimes, that was all! And sure, he and Zim had been hanging out more after their battles, but that- that was just surveillance! A necessary part of battle strategy!

"No! It is the Dib-Human who mocks Zim!" Zim shouted, jumping up and running away. 

"Crazy alien," Dib muttered, making a point of ignoring the blush spreading across his face. And if anyone asked, no, he didn't pick up the bouquet because he liked it. Dib just needed to check it for neurotoxins. That was the only reason.

And he most certainly did not go to the store to buy a vase. That was ridiculous, why would he do that? The flowers weren't going to sit on his desk until long after they wilted, after all.

When he got home, flowers in hand, Dib ignored Gaz's laughing and went to go upstairs to his room. However, before he could make his way up the stairs, he felt his father's hand on his shoulder.

"Son, I'm so glad you and that green friend of yours finally admitted your feelings for each other! And just know, If you ever need any... ahem... items of protection... I'd be more than fine with you using your allowance on them. You are in your senior year, after all!" Membrane said, obviously blushing. Dib could tell, even with his father's collar covering his face as usual.

"Ew, Dad, no! gross! Just. Gross," Dib said, screwing up his face in disgust and running up to his room to slam the door. Plopping down at his desk, Dib booted up his computer. First things first, analyzing these flowers!

Carefully removing one of the petals, Dib quickly ran a few scans to determine whether they had any toxins, nanobots, or anything else malicious. However, all his tests came up negative.

"Hmmm. Odd, I wonder why he insisted I have these then," Dib said, forgetting the fact that just the week before, he had thrown a box of chocolate at Zim's face mid-fight. Purposefully forgetting this fact.

Deciding to search for answers on the web, Dib quickly searched "reasons for roses." However, the only results were inane garbage. Romantic trash.

There was nothing else for it, Dib was going to have to break into Zim's base and figure out why the alien had given him roses. Deciding he wouldn't need his briefcase, Dib walked outside and crept down the street towards Zim's base.

Upon reaching it, Dib dodged the laser-gnomes and slinked around to what passed as a backyard. Checking behind one of the bushes, Dib was glad to find that Zim hadn't discovered his most recent entryway. Squeezing through the hole in the wall, Dib found himself underneath Zim's kitchen table. Before he could clamber out and creep down into Zim's base proper, though, he heard feral screaming echoing up through the vents. It almost sounded sorrowful, but Dib brushed it off as alien weirdness. 

"Well, Zim sounds pissed. I'd better be careful," Dib said, ignoring the empathy nibbling away at him. He had no reason to feel bad for the little bug! After all, there was  _ nothing _ appealing about his skin, or the way his antennae would move and show his emotions, or the way he'd always been there for Dib, a constant in his life.

In the "base" part of Zim's base, Dib was startled to see a swathe of destruction sweeping across the room. And in what Dib guessed was Zim's bedroom, Dib could hear sobbing.

Dib wanted to walk past, use Zim's tears as a distraction to thoroughly search the base, but what he heard next stopped him in his tracks.

"Computer, why? I've done everything! Sure, the Irken courting rituals didn't work, Dib-Stink probably just thought they were more fighting," Dib heard drifting from behind Zim's door. Wait, courting rituals?

"A-and I know I haven't been doing them for the proper amount of time, only a few Earth-months, but humans have such short lives, and I-I- if I did it properly Dib-Stink would-he'd he'd be dead before I could ever even get to the final stageeeeeesss!" Zim sobbed, his voice muffled like he was crying into a pillow.

"A-and even now that I'm trying human courting rituals, Dib Stink still refuses to get it through that thick skull of his!" Wait, human courting rituals? When had Zim- Oh. Thinking about the roses sitting in a vase on his desk, Dib realized what a fool he'd been.

He also realized that he hadn't just been a fool about how Zim felt; he'd been too stubborn to realize his own feelings. 

As he knocked on Zim's door, Dib fully expected to be eviscerated. As such, he was only slightly surprised when one of Computer's robo-arm-tentacle-things picked him up, pulled him through the base, and threw him out the front door.

The next day at school, whenever Dib would try to approach Zim, he'd just run off. Eventually, though, Dib managed to corner Zim.

"Go on, Human. Mock and deride! Filthy awful human. I know you hate me, I know you- you- just get it over with!" Zim shouted, looking like he wanted to stab Dib.

Uh, actually, I was wondering. Uh. Would you like to, uh, go to prom with me?"

"I get it human you hate me, just leave me al-wait, what?" Zim said, taken aback.

"I, uh, well I didn't realize what you were trying to do, so I kinda pushed down my feelings because I thought you hated me, which made me even less likely to rea- basically, I've had a crush on you since junior year. Prom is, uh, like, well, its a Human Courtship thing, I guess?" Dib said, blushing.

"I- Sure. When is this prom?"

"A few weeks," Dib replied. As he spoke, he heard the other students whispering behind his back. Turning around, he shouted for them to say what's going on.

"We've just had a betting pool going since elementary school about how long it would be before you guys go steady, and it looks like I just won big," Gaz said, walking by.


End file.
